Week three-hundred-&-something of quarantine: How’s everyone doing?

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It’s week three-hundred-and-something of quarantine and really, how is everyone holding up? 

Me? I’m good. Really good. Just, really really really good. I’m fine, just fine. I’m so good at this damn quarantine shit I could quarantine for life. 

For example…

I’m done trying to home school.

I don’t know how to home school. Like, not even a little bit and I’m not going to pretend that I do. And, I don’t have time to sit down, create a home school schedule and teach these kids anything. They’re not 6 anymore. I can’t just take them outside, grab some sidewalk chalk and write numbers on the driveway.  WTF am I going to teach them?

I tried. I really did, but I’m done. I had a plan and everything. I mean, just read my Quaran-tween post. I had a schedule, I had a talk. I was going to do this shit!

That lasted TWO DAYS.

Four weeks of doing nothing isn’t going to kill them. I mean, that was my entire summer growing up, and I seem to have turned out ok, right?

Am I clean?

Look, I shower everyday, but I’ve lost track of the last time I washed my hair. I used to wash it on an every other day schedule, but since I no longer know what day it is, I just have no idea. I know it’s getting done at least once a week, but in reality I’m not too sure. I now go by weight. If it’s getting too heavy at the roots, then it’s time to wash. 

Right, and washing my face at night is now a long lost art. Since I’m not wearing make-up at the moment, I just “meh” at the thought of washing my face before bed. I did wash it last night, but that’s because I remembered that I used to wash my face in pre-quarantine days and figured I’d give it another go before bed.

My hands are super clean, though!

Zooooom.

I’m loving Zoom for work though. I don’t even have to brush my teeth before a call. I just slick back my greasy hair, put on my glasses, change out of my PJ top and into a shirt that looks clean, and off I go. I can be filthy without my coworkers even knowing it!

I seriously wasn’t going to shower yesterday, but my husband said something, so I did. And, no, I didn’t wash my hair. I can tell. 

So many doggie walks.

I have no idea what these dogs are going to do when we finally get back to work. I mean, do you think they realize that they are now the only reason we get out everyday? Without the dogs, we wouldn’t know what fresh air smelled like, or what people looked like. Without the dogs we wouldn’t be socialized. The dogs are the only reason we see people now. People do still exist and we see them when we’re out walking the dogs. Sometimes, we even talk to them (the people, and the dogs.). It’s nice. Such good dogs.

Cooking.

I’m done cooking. I’m done cooking. I’m done cooking. However, if you want brownies, brownies, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, macarons, pancakes, pancakes, chocolate chip pancakes, pancakes and some pancakes, my daughter’s got you covered. Sure, there is not a single egg left in the state of Maryland, but whatever. Let’s bake!

Wake up time.

I had no idea I could even sleep until 8:30 in the morning! 

Intermittent fasting.

I’m still adhering to some sort of fasting schedule. I still OMAD (one meal a day), but I’ve been starting that meal at about 1:00pm and don’t finish that meal until 7:00pm. I mean, I’m still fasting, I’m just eating for about 6 straight hours. Is that wrong?

Bloated mess.

I put jeans on the other day. My husband told me I couldn’t go out looking like I did, so I put on jeans. I noped right out of those jeans. I mean, who’s wearing jeans right now anyway?

Drinking.

I told myself I wouldn’t buy vodka for martinis. I told myself I would only drink red wine during this quarantine.  

I bought vodka.

For my martinis.

That I have every night.

But, just one. I still have to work in the morning, people!

This is exactly what I look like when I drink my martini. I’m totally not wearing a headband, leggings, the softest socks in the world and my comfy t-shirt while enjoying my martini. Actually, that is me in the picture. How did they get a picture of me drinking my martini? Big brother really is watching!

Peloton.

Fortunately, I’m still working out. I’m still on the Peloton and I’m still getting off my ass just about everyday, even if it’s for only 45 minutes. 

I’m about to complete Emma’s 4 week Core Program, and I think my abs feel great, the problem is I’m so freaking bloated I can’t tell what they actually look like. Maybe I’ll show ya’ll this summer when I’ve had time to get back to semi-normal.

The Gen X worry.

If you’re a Gen Xer then your parents are most likely in the “danger zone” of this pandemic. While I know my parents will adhere to the stay at home guidelines, we worry about my FIL. When we asked my father-in-law, who lives in Staten Island, who is a liver transplant recipient, who can’t sit still, who just recently realized just how serious this “corona thing” is, if he’s staying at home, he replies, “I’m not going anywhere. Just the bagel store in the morning to get some bagels and then to the corner market to get my paper. I’m not going anywhere!”

Ugh. For reference, when my husband was a vegetarian he asked his mom to make him some sauce with no meat. When he asked his mom if there was meat in his sauce, she replied, “No. Just pork.” 

So there’s that. “Not going out” to my FIL is all relative. It’s not Home Depot, so it’s not really “going out”. He is wearing a mask and gloves when he “doesn’t go out”, so I guess that’s good.

It’s not all bad.

On the plus side, we’ve been having a lot more family game nights, campfires and s’mores. A lot of family walks and just plain old family time. 

Nick and I sat outside last night watching the fire go out and we just talked. It was nice.

Callia comes with me on walks with the dogs and we just talk. It’s really nice.

They miss school.

My son said that he really misses school and that he can’t wait to go back. He misses his friends. He misses his play time. He misses his teachers. And, even though my daughter doesn’t admit it, she’s looking forward to getting on the computer to see her teacher’s faces and to get back at it when the county gets their remote learning protocols in place. 

The Good News

The good news is that this will not be a forever situation. The crazy news is that we save lives by doing what we’re doing, and that makes this all worthwhile.

Until we meet again, live life like you just learned to ride your bike with no hands, because during a pandemic, you learn how to ride your bike with “NO HANDS!!!”.

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